Too funny not to share

On another forum, someone I know posted this story, from a time when he and his disabled girlfriend (now wife) went to the Reading Festival. I thought it was worth sharing with everyone

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Funniest thing ever at Reading - one year Jen took her electric scooter (me on three days of drugs and booze pushing you over a ploughed field not being the safest or most comfortable experience, apparently). Lots of unpleasant little nu-metal 15 year olds thought it the height of sophiticated witty repartee to yell "TIMMEH!" at her, and she spent most of the weekend persuading me not to inflict brief restorative justice on them.

Saturday teatime, the scooter needs recharging, so Jen transfers to the regular wheelchair and I set off for the recharging point. Being inherently lazy, I'm not going to push the thing, so I climb aboard and start riding. On the way, I pass a bunch of aforesaid kindermetal swine. After I've passed, the bravest of them yells "TIMMEH!" and him and his mates start giggling.

I haven't moved so fast since I was their age. In 1.5 seconds I have rugby tackled the little shitgibbon, and am sitting on top of him, screaming "YOU THINK THE DISABLED ARE FUNNY, YOU LITTLE CUNT? DO YOU YELL "NIGGER" AT BLACK PEOPLE?" I would have beat the shit out of him, but the look of sheer baffled terror on his face cracked me up too much for violence. That, and the fact that despite his bravado and his "GOD OF FUCK" t-shirt, he had actually, literally, started crying and pissed himself with fear.

So I just punched him in the face once and trundled on my merry way. I wanted to roam the campsite drooling to tempt other such bastards into trying something, but Jen overuled me.